Loving Maura Isles
by YESSS
Summary: Jane Rizzoli is a senior in high school. When she is talking to her friend about who she loves, that person hears everything. What will Jane do when she realizes that she's been heard? Later Jane goes to college, what happens when she is invited to a weekend wedding and the person she loved is also there? Will the two of them talk about how things were left? READ AND FIND OUT! :)
1. The Secret

Had to upload this one again. I began working on this story for the first time in a while.

Chapter One - The Secret's Out!

"Adam Alexander!"

"Scott Brooks!"

"Robert Coleman!"

"Barry Frost!" I clapped my hands so hard and watched him graduate from high school.

"Melissa Gray!"

"Christina Martinez!"

"Jane Rizzoli!" The principal called my name and I walked up the steps to grab my diploma. I began to hug all of the teachers when I noticed that my science teacher, Maura Isles was standing in the line too. I continued hugging everyone so it didn't look weird. When I came to hug Maura Isles, I hesitated, but not enough for anyone else to notice. She reached her arms around me and we hugged. I suddenly noticed that we were chest to chest. I continued through the line and sat back in my seat.

When we were done, I left my seat to find people that I knew. I heard my name being called, so I turned around.

"Jane! We've graduated! We're done with high school forever!" My best friend Barry Frost yelled while running towards me in his graduation robe.

"I know! That's insane! I mean I'm totally excited, but I'm also nervous at the same time. I'm going to miss this place and the people here." I said hugging Frost.

"I know who you're going to miss the most!" He said while winking at me.

"I know! Maura freaking Isles! I love her so much. I've loved her for almost two years and I could never do anything about it. I fell in love with my teacher! I'm going to miss her so much Frost. I just want her to love me back-"

"Uh, Jane...-"

"I know Frost, she could never love me because I'm a student and she's probably straight. I just have to deal with that. I'm going to head to my parents so they can congratulate me." I turned around and was face to face with the one person that I did not want to hear this conversation. "Maura..." Our eyes stuck looking at one another. My face turned bright red and I ran as fast as I could away from this embarrassing situation.

"Jane! Wait!" Maura called for me but I didn't turn back, I kept running. I met up with my parents and brothers in the main lobby of the Hilton.

"Jane! There you are! We are so proud of you!" My mother, Angela said while wrapping her arms around me. "We are very happy for you! Where do you want to go now?" She asked. All I wanted was to be home and not in a place that I could run into Maura Isles.

"Home. Let's go home. I'd like to just relax and be with one another." I said hoping that they couldn't catch that I was freaking out inside.

"Okay Janie, let's go home." My father said while wrapping his arm around me and leading us out through the heavy doors into the warm summer air. The car ride felt like forever and I kept going over the situation in my head. Why didn't I know she was there? Why didn't Frost tell me that she was there? Why did this have to happen? I was brought out of my thoughts by a vibration coming from my phone. I picked it up and looked at it. It was a text from Frost.

" **Hey, are you okay? That was a really awkward situation. I'm always here to talk if you need to. Don't be afraid to tell me." - Frost**

I decided to text him back because I needed to vent.

" **Yeah, it wasn't the best situation. Now she knows that I am completely and utterly in love with her. I wish that she didn't find out that way or even at all. I'm just really embarrassed."**

I sent the message and looked out the window.

"Janie, is something the matter? You look a little upset." My mother asked looking back at me.

"No, I'm fine. Really. It's just been a tiring day and I'm experiencing some change in my life." I said smiling back at her.

"Okay. I know that this is a big change, so I'll let you be.

"Thanks, Ma." She smiled and turned back around. Frost had texted me back.

" **Well, at least you won't see her anymore. That might be a good thing. So you don't have to face her."**

I responded right away.

" **Yeah. I guess."**

I put the phone in my pocket and looked up to see that we were pulling into the driveway of our house. I walked up the steps and opened the door and headed straight for my room.

"Two more months in Boston, then I can move into my dorm in New York," I said to myself. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.


	2. Making A New Friend

Thanks for reading! I am finally getting back to this story and adding more to it!

Two months had passed and I had missed seeing her every day. I missed talking to her and telling her things that I couldn't tell others. I talked to Frost frequently but I was still feeling nervous about leaving home. I decided to call him before I left the house. A few rings were heard until Frost picked up.

"Jane! Hi! I was just thinking about you and how you're going to college! How are you feeling?" He asked, waiting for my response.

"Honestly, scared and anxious. I feel like this all came so suddenly. I mean am I even ready to go to college and be on my own? What if I hate it and I don't make any friends." I asked, my voice shaking.

"Well I think you'll like it there, you've planned to go for a long time. This year you couldn't go a day without talking about this college. You'll be great and I hope that you will enjoy it as much as you think you will. The thing about the friends, did you have any friends going into high school?" Frost asked me.

"Um, no. I didn't think I would make any friends." I responded.

"See! You didn't have any friends but you soon made some. We became friends really quickly and I think that you will do the same thing at college. If not, at least you'll have one friend back at home." He said, laughing at the other side of the phone.

"Frost! You're supposed to make me feel better!" I laughed with him until I heard my name being called.

"Janie! Are you almost ready to go? I'd really like to miss the New York traffic as much as possible." My mother called up the stairs, followed by her footsteps coming up the stairs. I go back to my conversation with Frost.

"Frost, my mom is coming up the stairs and she's ready to leave." I said.

"Okay. I hope you have a blast this week and the rest of college! Call me when you get to your dorm room." He said, smiling at the other end. My mother comes into my room with boxes on the floor.

"Jane, are you ready to go?" She asked me picking up a box from the ground.

"I will call you when I get there. Good luck with the police academy! Bye Frost" I said while hanging up the phone. "Yeah. Let's go." I picked up the last box and had one last look at my room before I turned the lights out and closed my door. We drove for four hours, my mother trying to get me to talk, but I was scared to be on my own. When we drove through the entrance of the college, my brothers were looking at all of the people outside, commenting on all of the attractive women.

"Oh, Janie! You'll find a cute guy here, just open your eyes and be more feminine." My brother Frankie said while laughing. I looked out the window thinking about how little they know about my sexuality.

"Yeah, there sure are a lot of guys here," I mumbled. My mother decided to change the topic.

"We're here! My mother said. We pulled into the parking space closest to the dorm. We spent a couple of hours unloading and setting up my room.

"I can't believe that she was able to have a single room! That's not fair! When I go to college, I want to get a single room too." My younger brother Tommy spoke up.

"That's if you even get into college" I responded.

"Janie! Be nice to your brother. This is not a way to speak to your brother." My mother gave me a look and I rolled my eyes. They left after we had dinner and I went back to my dorm. The people on the floor were having a hall meeting run by the two R.A's on the floor. I sat next to this guy who looked like he would have been one of the popular football players in high school. He turned to me and started to speak.

"Hi, I'm Ryan." He smiled and I felt this instant connection.

"Hi Ryan, my name's Jane. Are you a freshman as well?" I asked, feeling proud that I was able to talk and make a new friend.

"Actually no, I'm a sophomore. I'm a transfer student from California." He responded and we continued to talk until the hall meeting and after. He gave me his number and we planned to meet for breakfast the next morning. When I got to my room I decided to call Frost to let him know how the first day of being on college was. He answered the phone.

"Hey, Jane. Tell me all about the first day. Did you make any friends? Is the food good? Is the campus as great as you said it was?" He had many questions.

"Hey, Frost. Yeah, the school is actually pretty great and I did meet someone who could possibly be a friend."

"Oooh! Tell me all about them!" He pushed for more.

"Well, his name is Ryan. He's a transfer student, so he's a sophomore and he lives on the same floor as me. He's like the football player from high school, but he's actually really cool." I told Frost all about Ryan and the first day of being on campus. The first few months have passed and I had become friends with many people. I had become especially close to Ryan and spent as much time with one another. I thought that I knew a lot about Ryan, but there was something big that I wouldn't know for another few months.


	3. The Possible Vacation

Let me know what you think!

A few months had passed and I had become closer to Ryan. He was one of the first people that I came out as gay. I was afraid that he would become nervous and not want to be friends with me anymore. Except it was the total opposite. The conversation came up and I opened up to him.

"Ryan, I've been in love with someone for a long time and I don't know how to get her out of my head. I just have fallen in love and I can't seem to let go of her." I said while realizing that I gave away the gender of the person that I loved. He didn't seem startled or freaked out, it seemed like he had already known this about me.

"Yeah, I know that feeling. I had this girlfriend in high school who I was totally in love with, and to be honest, I thought I wanted to marry her." He stopped talking and took a deep breath in.

"What happened with her?" I asked, wanting to know where this story was going.

"I was really thinking of asking her to marry me, but I don't think she saw me in the same way that I saw her. We went our separate ways after high school and I haven't seen her since." He looked down, thinking back on this old relationship that he had had.

"Why did you two break up? You don't have to answer that if you don't feel comfortable." I said.

"No, it's fine. I caught her with another man and I broke things off with her right away. I don't want to be played by anyone because I don't deserve that." He said.

"Well that's true, you don't deserve that."

We spent most of the time at college in classes, studying together, eating together, trying to set each other up with people and just enjoying our friendship. Time past quickly and it was already a week before winter break. Ryan and I were studying for finals and he brought up the topic of what I was doing over vacation.

"Are you going back to Boston for the break?" He asked while setting down his pencil.

"I was planning to, that is if my parents want me to be there." I laughed nervously.

"Well I have something to ask and you don't have to say yes if you don't want to. My brother is getting married and he said I could have a plus one. Would you want to be my plus one?" He asked knowing that we would go just as friends. I thought for a few seconds until he started talking again. "The wedding is going to be a week-long cruise to the Bahamas. It leaves from New York and goes to Florida, then it goes to the Bahamas. I think it could be fun and it would be a blast if you wanted to come too." He stopped talking and looked at me.

"A cruise to the Bahamas?! Yes! Count me in! Do I have to pay anything?" I asked hoping that it was already paid for.

"Nope, it's all paid for. Only bring a little cash to spend on things, but besides that, everything is already paid for." He responded and I smiled. I wanted to go on a cruise for a long time but I could never afford it.

Later that night I called my mother and told her about the plans I made earlier with Ryan.

"Hi, Ma. I wanted to tell you that a week during winter break, Ryan invited me to go on a week-long cruise with him to the Bahamas. His-" Before I could finish what I was saying my mother cut me off.

"A WEEK LONG CRUISE! We can't afford that! Ryan may have a lot of money but we can't do that. Where-" I cut her off before she could talk me out of it.

"Ma! It's already paid for by his family. His brother is getting married and he asked me to be his plus one. So I said yes because I really want to go on this cruise to the Bahamas." I waited for her response.

"Oh, well that changes things. You would go as his plus one? Do you think he's interested in you, romantically?" My mother asked hoping that I would get together with a man.

"No Ma, he's not interested in me like that. I'm not interested in him that way either. We are just friends. So can I go? Please please please!" I begged her over the phone.

"Yes, but you will have to explain to your father why you will be missing his opening to his new work building. He has been talking non stop about how he is excited to have all of his children together." I had forgotten about the opening of the building.

"Oh crap! I totally forgot about the opening. Ugh! I want to go to it, but this is also a once in a lifetime trip. I'll talk to him tomorrow about it." I said as I texted Ryan from my laptop.

" **Hi! So I just talked to my mom about the cruise. I can go, I just totally forgot about my dad's opening to his building. It's okay, I think he will be fine with it"**

He responded.

" **Okay. I hope everything goes okay and good luck on your final! Good Night!"**

I sent the message and continued to talk to my mom about the cruise.

"Yes, so I will talk to Dad about it. But for now, I have to get ready for bed. I have a final tomorrow that I need enough sleep for."

"Okay, Jane. Good luck on your final and I'll talk to you in the next few days." We hung up the phone and I got into bed. That night I dreamed about the cruise and the wedding, but instead of his brother getting married, it was my brother getting married.


	4. Back at the Rizzoli's Home

I spent the next few days finishing up finals and getting ready to go home for winter break. I had made it through my first semester of college and I felt proud of the work that I had done. I finally had the time to tell my Dad that I wasn't going to be at this opening of his building. He was disappointed but was understanding as to why I chose the cruise instead of the opening. When I was done with my last final of the semester, I helped my parents bring down some boxes to the car and I went back in the dorm to say bye to some of the friends that I had made. I said bye to Ryan last.

"I know this isn't saying bye for a while because I will see you in a couple of days to go on the cruise. So I guess it's bye for right now". I said as I hugged him and waved back to him as I made my way back to the car. I opened the car door to see my brothers laughing.

"What. What is so funny?" I asked them a little annoyed that I had to spend more than a month with them. Frankie was the first one to speak.

"Dad asked Mom if that guy you hugged was your boyfriend. We were-" He was cut off by my father's voice.

"Hey! It was a reasonable thing to ask right. I'm just waiting for the day that you bring home your first real boyfriend to Thanksgiving or Christmas." I was about to respond when there was a knock at the window. It was Ryan holding one ticket in his hand.

"Oooh, it's her boyfriend!" Tommy whispered to Frankie and they both started laughing again. I rolled my eyes and opened the door.

"Here's the ticket for the cruise. I wanted to give it to you in case I didn't see you until we were on the cruise." He handed me the ticket and waved to my mother and father sitting in the front seat. "Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Rizzoli for allowing Jane to come on this cruise." He smiled and my parents looked like they were already planning the wedding in their heads.

"Oh, we are so happy for Jane to have this journey to go on. Just take good care of her." My mother responded.

"Ma!" I quickly spat back. Ryan laughed and nodded his head. He closed the door and my father started the car.

"He's such a gentleman too. I like him a lot, Janie!" My mother said while looking back at me.

"Then why don't you go marry him then." I responded feeling happy with my sarcastic response. She ignored my response and I plugged in my headphones. I blocked out the talk between my parents about how Ryan was the perfect guy and how they hoped this cruise would bring us closer together. I looked out the window and texted Ryan.

" **You sure did make an impression on my parents. They can't stop talking about how you're such a gentleman and you're 'Mr. Perfect'"**

He responded back quickly.

" **Oh haha. Yeah, I'm 'Mr. Perfect'. They clearly don't know me that well. But they can keep thinking that, I could get used to being called that.**

I responded back.

" **Don't get used to it. Haha. I can't wait to go on this cruise in a few days! I'm so excited!"**

He responded.

" **Well, I'm glad you're excited. I am too actually. I just can't believe that my brother is actually settling down and marrying a girl. He's been such a player that I thought he would never get married. But I guess people can surprise you. I gotta go though, packing some more before I leave. Talk to you soon. :)"**

I saw the message and changed the song. I spent most of the car ride looking out the window thinking about the cruise and how much fun it could be. I realized that I didn't actually know a lot about Ryan's family. I knew that he had two brothers and one sister, but I didn't know their names. I was excited to meet his family and have a week without my family. Don't get me wrong, I love my family but they can be just a little too much at times. I was ready to be with Ryan, celebrating his brother's marriage. Little did I know, I would soon be very surprised, and not in a good way.


	5. Heart to Heart With Frost

Thank you for reading! Again, reviews help me know what to add or work on. Thanks!

A few days passed and I was on the floor, looking through my old high school yearbook with Frost.

"It's so weird to think it's been six months since we graduated high school." Frost looked up at me while we thought about how much we've grown in that short time.

"Yeah, it's crazy. I mean it's exciting that we are moving on with our lives, but it is also scary because I feel unsure about what I am doing with my life." He responded and looked a little sad and discouraged. I didn't know what Frost was talking about.

"I thought you always knew that you wanted to go into the Police Academy. That was what you always talked about. It's your dream!" I stopped looking at the yearbook and focused my attention fully on Frost.

"I mean yeah, but we also made this plan that we both were going to go to the Academy... but that changed..." He looked away from me, knowing that we've had this conversation before.

"Frost... I told you that I would go with you if I didn't get into college. I really didn't think that I would be accepted into this school, and even if I was, I didn't think there was any way I could afford it. I was so blindsided when they gave me a full ride. I'm sorry, I just-"

"I know. I know. I guess I just didn't really think that I would be going alone. Or even if I did go alone, that we would talk more on the phone or even facetime, but you're always busy." He looked at the floor.

"We talk. We talk a lot. I just have so much work and it's hard to balance academics, sports, and friendships. It's a lot for me to handle. But it doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you or hear how your day was. I still want to hear about it, I've just been busy and lately, I've been studying a lot for midterms with Ryan."

"Oh, Ryan... It's always about Ryan." He said rolling his eyes.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me! You can't be mad at me because I am making new friends and enjoying my college experience." Now I was frustrated at Frost. I closed the yearbook and got up off the floor.

"I'm not mad at you, I'm just frustrated! I am frustrated with how much of an amazing time you are having over in New York, while I am over here in Boston trying to prove that I can make it in the Police force. I'm not mad! I'm scared!" We both were silent, processing what we both had just said. The idea that Frost was scared that he wasn't going to make it in the police academy was confusing for me. I had heard all great things coming from last him when we talked on the phone. I looked over towards him and sat down next to him. I started speaking.

"I didn't know you were having doubts about joining the academy. The last time we talked, you seemed very happy and that you were thriving there. What happened?" He took a breath and began to speak.

"I do like it there. I guess it's a little different than what I thought it would be. I'm trying to figure out what unit I want to join. I am leaning towards the drug unit but I am also interested in the homicide department. Although, I am not completely sure if I am okay with looking at dead bodies." He furrowed his brow as if he was questioning his path. He opened up the yearbook and saw the image of Maura Isles. He began to smile and started to speak.

"But enough about me, I want to hear more about you. How do you feel about being away from high school and especially not seeing Ms. Isles every day?" That was the first that I heard that name in months. I was started to forget about her. I took a deep breath before I answered his question.

"I've been really good. I've been so busy that I haven't even really thought about her. I think it is getting easier to not think about her, and to start to live my life without seeing her every day." Frost watched me carefully, deciding when to open his mouth. He stayed silent for me to continue with my thoughts. "It was definitely hard to see her every day, but now that I think about it, she really helped me understand my sexuality. She allowed me to feel more confident in myself and not question my feelings. Even though nothing happened with her, she helped me in ways that I didn't understand before. I know I really liked her romantically, but I also really valued her friendship and that is what I am trying to focus on". Frost looked surprised.

"That is not what I thought you would say." We both laughed. "I thought you would still like her romantically, but I am really happy that you are starting to move on and that you don't just look back on those feelings and just see how much pain you felt. I'm glad that you can look back on that and see the good in it. I'm proud of you Jane." We both smile and I start to change the subject.

"Okay, that's enough talk about our feelings," I said while jokingly punching him in the arm. "Want to go to the gym? I could use a good run." I said while I stand up. He nods.

"Watch out, I've been running a lot at the academy, so I bet I could run longer than you!" He said.

"Oh, I still doubt that!" We both leave the room, leaving the yearbook open the page where Maura Isles signed it.


	6. A Makeover

**Sorry I haven't updated this story in a while. I have been having trouble coming up with ideas for the story. This is just a short chapter before the cruise. Next chapter will be the beginning of the cruise. :). Thanks for the reviews! They make me want to keep making chapters**!

Over the next couple of days, I packed for the cruise. I was getting excited but also nervous because I was going to meet all of Ryan's family. I looked in my closet to pack any fancy clothes that I could find.

"Ma! Could I wear this to the wedding?" I called down to the kitchen. Her footsteps coming up the stairs into my room. I expected to see only her, but I also saw my father. I showed her the pantsuit that I holding. She furrowed her brow and looked like she was in shock.

"That! You think you could wear that! No, no, no, no, no. You cannot wear that!" She took that pantsuit from me and started to look through my closet.

"What's wrong with wearing that?" My father asked.

"No, she cannot wear that to a fancy wedding." She motioned for my father to leave the room so she could focus.

"Do you have any dresses?" She asked looking at me.

"Ugh, Ma. I hate dressing up!" I said. She glared at me to answer her question. "Dresses, I don't think so." I sat down on the chair in my room.

"Well, then I guess we have to go shopping." She said.

"Oh No! Do we have to?" I absolutely hated shopping. I had enough clothes to wear every day. Once we went to a store, we would be there for hours because my mother had to find the perfect outfit to wear.

"Put on your shoes and get in the car." She left my room. There was no use in trying to argue with her.

We drove to the mall and walked into the store. I spent a half hour with her trying to find dresses that we both would agree on. I changed into them and opened the door to show my mom.

"Oh no. Not this one." I said looking at myself in the mirror.

"Why not? You look beautiful." My mom said while quickly taking a photo.

"I look too fancy. I hate being in dresses. Why can't I just wear that pantsuit to the wedding?" I asked while walking back into the dressing room and closed the door.

"No, we are going to find a dress. Here, try this one on." She handed me a dress. I wanted to say no, but I put it on anyways. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was quiet.

"Jane, how does it look?"

"It looks okay. It's different." I responded while looking at myself shocked that I could actually like a dress that my mother had picked out. I walked out to show my mother.

"Oh Janey, You look so beautiful!" She got off her seat to walk closer to me. "Do you like it?" She asked.

"Yeah, I actually do."

"Then let's get this one!" I walked back through the door and changed into my normal, everyday clothes.

When I got back to the house I spent the next couple of hours packing. Frost came over to help with the last couple of things.

"What do you think meeting Ryan's family is going to be like?" Frost asked while helping me fold my clothes.

"I honestly don't know. I know that he comes from a wealthy family in California. I mean his whole family is going on this wedding cruise. That must be so much money. I don't know what I would do with all that money." Frost nodded his head. Both of our families have had trouble with money in the past.

"This is his brother's wedding right?" I nodded my head. "Where does his brother live?" He asked.

"I'm not actually sure."

"What do his parents do for a living?" He asked.

"I'm not sure of that either."

"Then what do you know?" He asked, chuckling to himself.

"I know that Ryan was scouted for football but he tore something in his leg so I couldn't play professionally. I honestly don't know a lot about his family. He doesn't seem to talk about them often. I don't really know what that is." We sat thinking about what that could mean.

"It's probably nothing. But you'll have a chance to find out more in a couple of days."

"Yeah, that's true." we packed up the rest of the clothes and zipped up my suitcase. A couple of hours went by and Frost had gone home. I was left wondering about how this trip was going to play out. I wanted his family to like me, but the conversation with Frost had left me a little uneasy because I really didn't know anything about his family. My mother poked her head into my room.

"Are you all packed for the trip?" She asked.

"Yeah, Frost helped me with the last of the items." I smiled at her.

"That's nice of him. The flight to Miami is at 5 tomorrow evening so we don't need to rush out tomorrow, but we should get there by 3:30 by the latest."

"Okay, thanks Ma."

"Goodnight Jane."

"Night Ma." She closed the door and I shut out the light. I listened to the wind blowing hard outside.

"Tomorrow is going to be okay," I said quietly, trying to reassure myself. I fell asleep to the blowing of the wind outside.

 **If you have any ideas for the story, feel free to message me. I welcome all ideas. Keep the reviews coming! Thanks!**


	7. Seeing Maura

As the plane landed on the runway, I could see the palm trees and the sun shining. I really was in Miami. I had gathered my luggage and I looked around to see if I could see Ryan and his family. Instead I saw a man in a suit holding up my name in a piece of paper. I walked over towards him.

"Are you Ms. Rizzoli?" The man in the suit asked.

"Yes." I nodded while answering his question. We got into his shiny black car and we left the airport. When we arrived near the water, I could see the large cruise docked next to the boardwalk. I saw Ryan and his parents.

"Here you are" The man in the suit said while handing me my suitcase and waving to Ryan's family.

"Thank you." I smiled and walked over to Ryan. He walked towards me out of earshot of his parents.

"Hey Jane! I am happy to see you! Sorry that we didn't pick you up. It was kind of a last minute decision." He smiled inviting me to walked with his towards his parents.

"Hi, it is so nice to finally meet you! We've heard so much about you from Ryan." Ryan's mother said while leaning in to give me a hug. I learned that her name was Miranda and her husband's name was Jeffery. We boarded the cruise ship and Ryan began to show me around.

"The pre-wedding reception is tonight and that is when you will see a lot of my family." I nodded, trying to take in everything that was happening. I had grown up living comfortably, but I had never been friends with someone who had enough money to rent out a cruise ship for a long period of time. Ryan kept telling me different things about his family, but I was having a hard time listening to him while the cruise ship staff kept offering us food and drinks.

"Ryan, this is crazy! I have never been on this kind of boat before. I knew you had money, but not this kind of money." I said hoping that he wasn't embarrassed by what I had just said.

"Well, I don't have the money. My parents do. Yeah, I can see how this can seem a little strange if you haven't grown up with this kind of thing. This is the kind of life that I've always known, so sometimes its hard to show people this until I know that they care about me as a person first". He showed me to my room and opened the door. We walked in and the room was enormous. It even had its own private balcony overlooking the water. My face must have given it away because Ryan laughed and began to speak.

"Yeah, I'm guessing it's not quite what you imagined." We walked into the room.

"This is amazing. Thank you for inviting me on this trip and to be able to meet your family. It really means a lot to me." I give him a hug and he starts to move towards the door.

"Are you not staying?" I ask him.

"My parents put me in another room. They thought it would be better even though I said that it was fine to be in the same room as you. I am just going to put my stuff down and I'll meet up with you in a bit? Sound okay?" I nodded, and he waved and left the room.

I was left alone. I imagined what it would be like to grow up with this kind of money. I thought it would be nice, but sometimes having too much money can be overwhelming. I decided to explore more of the ship. I grabbed my bag and the room key and I locked the door. I walked up the stairs and came upon what looked like a giant study room. No, this was more like a giant library with books covering all the shelves. I decided to look around to see if I could find any interesting books to read while I was here. I saw that there was an outdoor area with an area over looking the pools. I walked through the aisles of books and out the door. It was a nice area with seats and a little bar at the end. I would make sure to come back to this spot when we have a break between festivities. Right then my phone buzzed.

 **"Hey, where are you? I'm back at your room."**

I had forgot to tell Ryan that I was checking out the ship. I texted him back.

 **"I forgot to text you! I wanted to look around and see what was on this ship. I am at the library. Or at least I think it is a library."** I sent the message and sat down on one of the day beds. Another text came in.

 **"Yeah it's a library. Are you in the inside part of it or the outside?"**

I sent him back a quick reply.

 **"I am in the outside patio."** I sent it and waited for him to come meet me. A few minutes passed and I heard the door open. I looked around to see Ryan.

"I see you found one of my favorite places." He said. I smiled and nodded. I stood up and looked over the balcony railing and I saw people swimming in the pools below. Ryan and I watched from above. I looked around and saw so many people. And then I saw a familiar face talking to someone. She glanced over and I quickly ducked out of sight.

"Shit!" I said. Ryan ducked down with me, confused.

"What? What just happened?" He asked. I took a deep breath in and began to speak.

"Remember when I was telling you about when I figured out I was gay?" He nodded. "Well, that person is here." He looked even more confused.

"What do you mean? That teacher that you liked?" I nodded.

"Maura freaking Isles is on this ship." At that exact moment we both looked at one another, not knowing what to do.


	8. Facing The Fear

We sat in silence for a little while. Ryan looked over at me, not knowing what to say. He finally broke the silence.

"Well, she sure is pretty!" He smirked while he spoke. I rolled my eyes at him.

"She sure is. I just don't understand why she's here. Do you know why she's here." I asked him.

"She might be one of the guests. If we get off the ground and walk around, I could find out." He was right, but I wasn't ready to leave the spot in the shade.

"I just spent so much time liking her. The feeling of knowing nothing could happen between us, but the feeling of love that just wouldn't leave. I wanted to stop liking her for so long that it hurt. When I went to college, it went away. I felt free. I felt excited that I could finally get back to my life." He listened. "I felt like I could be friends with her and not have those romantic feelings for her. I've finally got to that point where I thought I could interact with her if I ever saw her."

"I wouldn't call this interacting, I'd call it hiding." He laughed.

"Shut up, I didn't think this would be the place that I would see her. It was just surprising." We talk a little longer when I feel the urge to get up off the ground. Ryan got up too. He nodded like he was following my lead.

"You ready?" He asked.

"Yeah, let's go." We walked around a bit exploring more of the boat. I wasn't sure if this was because I was trying to keep seeing Maura Isles for last, but I didn't feel like seeing her right away. This feeling wasn't like I had felt back in high school. I actually felt comfortable and not scared to see her. We heard the splashing of the pools and children laughing. We turned the corner and saw tons of people talking and hanging around the water. It was a beautiful day to spend by the pool. Ryan walked over to some people and started chatting with them.

"This is my friend Jane." He motioned for me to join their conversation. I introduced myself and found out that they were super nice people. We spent some time mingling with his family. I looked around the room and I saw her again. We made eye contact and I smiled. The man next to her looked over at her and out his arm around her waist. I immediately looked away. I don't know why I felt the need to look away, but I did.

"I'm going to use the bathroom." I told Ryan. I walked away from the crowd of people into the hallway. I took out my phone to call Frost.

"Hey Jane! I haven't heard from you in a couple days. How are you? Did you land? Are you on the boat?" So many questions in such a short time.

"Woah, woah, woah…slow down. I am here on the boat. It's huge, you would never believe how big it is. But what I really wanted to tell you is that Maura is here." Silence at the other end of the line.

"WHAT? She's there? On the boat? How? Why?" He couldn't believe it.

"Frost, you sound like me when I first saw her. I don't know why she's here. I haven't talked to her yet."

"This is crazy! How do you feel?" He asked.

"Honestly, at first I was freaking out a bit, but now I don't feel that way. I am actually interested in having a conversation with her. I think I've grown a lot in the last year. I don't have feelings for her anymore. I think I could just be friends with her." I smiled knowing that I felt better talking to Frost.

"Is she there with anyone or just there by herself?"

"I think she is with some guy. They were at the pool together. He could be a literal model. Frost, you should have seen his muscles." We talked about other things as well, it was good to talk to him again.

"I'm glad that you're there with Ryan. From what you've told me about him, he seems like a pretty decent guy. Angela would love for you two to get together." We both laughed at that. I lost track of time talking to Frost that I didn't see Maura walked out into the hallway.

"I can't wait to see you and tell you all about this. Uh, Maura just walked into the hallway. I'll call you later" I whispered to him. We hung up the phone and I walked back towards the glass doors that led into the pool room. Maura looked up from her phone, her golden hair falling on her shoulders. She smiled when I walked closer towards her.

"Hey Jane! It's so great to see you. I have't seen you in a long time, how have you been?" She asked. I felt comfortable talking to her. Those feelings didn't come back.

"Hey Maura, I've been doing really well actually. College has been great so far and I've made some good friends, including Ryan."

"Ah, that's why you're on this boat. I was trying to figure that out." She smiled, her skin was glowing. She looked even more beautiful up close than from afar.

"Yeah, we actually met the first night I moved in. Do you know his family or—?"

"Uh no, my friend has been friends with Ryan's family for a long time. I'm just a plus one" We laughed and I wanted to ask her more when she started speaking. "Wow, you look different, you seem a lot happier and confident". I wanted to tell her that she looked great too, but I didn't want to overstep any boundaries.

"Thank you. I feel a lot happier now than I did back on high school. Kinda glad to not be back there to be honest." The thought of high school brought back the memory that I had confessed my feelings towards her without knowing.

"Yeah, the last time I saw you was at graduation, when you ran off without saying goodbye." She smiled sweetly when saying this. I could tell that she wasn't trying to be mean but I could sense a little sadness in the way she said them. I looked at the floor.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure how to react in that situation. I don't know if you remember exactly why I bolted, but I uh…" I trailed off not really knowing what to say. We were interrupted by multiple people walking out the door. The same guy who was with Maura before walked out and put his arm around her.

"There you are. I was wondering where you went." He looked over at me and reached out his hand. "Hi, I'm Ian Faulkner. Maura's boyfriend." I shook his hand and looked over at Maura. She looked conflicted, not knowing what to do.

"Hi, I'm Jane, friend of Ryans." I said while shaking his hand. I was interested in how she referred to him as her friend, not her boyfriend. I kept my gaze on her. I smiled and turned to join up with Ryan who was waiting for me.

"So how'd it go?" He asked when I started walking back to my room with him.

"Interesting. She has a boyfriend even though she referred to him as her friend. But other than that, it went okay," I linked my arm with his and looked back at Maura for one last glance before we turned the corner. She was still watching me while her boyfriend was talking to some other guys.

"The big dinner is tonight, so let's focus on that." We made it back to the room and we talked for hours before getting ready for the dinner.

I was still thinking of the interaction with Maura. I thought I was okay, but seeing the way she watched me, all of those feelings that I was trying to keep hidden were crawling back to take over.


End file.
